We were out for drinks with friends, doing the usual ‘what are you up to?’ chit chat, when my husband commented that there was ‘never a wasted weekend’ in my life. I laughed and agreed – I usually have a plan for my weekends – but it made me pause. I came back to it the following morning as I lay in bed, slightly hungover, enjoying my Saturday morning routine of breakfast, coffee and reading the newspaper. And yes, I was also planning what else the weekend would hold. Some writing, some culture, some cleaning, some cooking and a trip to the supermarket… Did I truly believe that doing none of that would be a waste?
If we are fortunate, our weekends are for respite and recreation. If we are spending time at home, we navigate our rooms differently. In our house, there’s a dance of comings and goings (gym sessions, library revision trips, a walk to the bakery for bread). I shun my home office and instead take my laptop to the bedroom to write; the shift in location marks a change in mindset for creative thinking that’s outside my day job. My husband, who usually spends days at home working at the kitchen table, instead takes up residence in the living room, sport on the TV rather than music on the kitchen speaker. Our 16-year-old bounces between bedroom and check-ins with us both, as well as trips out with friends. At the weekend, we move on our individual orbits, converging occasionally – over dinner or a film – like some planetary conjunction.
In this universe of home, can a weekend be wasted? My instinct is to consider, instead, what it means to have a weekend well spent. For me, that’s about arriving at Sunday evening and feeling content with how I’ve used this precious time, without regrets or ‘I wish I’d just done…’ It’s about choosing what to do, and being happy if that choice is no more taxing than having a nap or reading a book. Here are some of the things that I’ve been happy spending my time doing over the past few weekends. I’d love to know what you’ve been doing, so do share in the comments.
Reading Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver
Location, under the duvet with my ginger cat Hector on my lap, mid-afternoon
I haven’t read any of Kingsolver’s work since The Poisonwood Bible and I’m loving rediscovering the depth, humour and humanity of her work. During the week I read before going to sleep, but a weekend afternoon is made for a cup of tea and a brilliant book in bed.
Listening to A Slight Change of Plans podcast by Maya Shankar
Location, the bathroom, while cleaning on Saturday morning Note: the fact I listen to podcasts while doing other things is one of the reasons my husband thinks I’m unable to waste a weekend. I think it’s entertaining multitasking.
Shankar expected to become a professional violinist but when a hand injury compelled her to stop playing, she had to set a new course for her life. Today, she is a cognitive neuroscientist who was an adviser to the Obama White House. Her podcast has great guests and is full of interest, insight and warmth.
Messaging friends
Location, kitchen, while waiting for the kettle to boil Is this time well spent or an inability to rest in the moment? Sometimes I test myself by simply waiting for the hot water to be ready. I admit, I find it difficult.
The weekend is when I feel a spurt of energy to connect and make plans. Let’s face it, it can be hard to coordinate diaries, so check-ins are catalysts that stop weeks from passing without seeing people.
Walking or running
Location, the sea or the Downs, afternoon
I feel twitchy and dissatisfied if I haven’t spent time outside in nature. I’ll walk down to the beach with my husband or head out alone. Recently, we’ve discovered the power of a Sunday late afternoon/early evening stroll along Devil’s Dyke or Ditchling Beacon for helping to ease our teenager’s pre-Monday anxiety. Big skies and far horizons are a balm.
Visiting a gallery
Location, most recently, Lewes
Engaging more with culture is something I’ve set out to do more of this year, born of frustration at seeing things that sound interesting and then not doing them. I’ve realised that I often wait for others to be ready/want to come with me, and that doesn’t work. So now I go alone if family or friends aren’t available and then I don’t miss out. This time, my husband and I went to see the Jonathan Baldock exhibition at the new Charleston at Lewes gallery – a fabulous mix of craft, ceramics, textiles and folklore exploring the place between our internal and external worlds.
Happy well-spent weekend.